What's the most illegal thing you ever did?
Anonymous

fagmobs:

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

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crockercrocs:

sir-laughsalot:

laughoutloudrightnow:

pizzaforpresident:

have you ever seen a chicken strip

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There are two kinds of people in this world.

leviathans-in-the-tardis:

me-myself-and-will:

carrot0nesie:

ladies and gentlemen, the american education system

My school apparently ran out of toilet paper a few weeks ago and my Spanish teacher was telling the girls to keep a roll in their purses and the guys to keep a roll in our backpacks. North American Education system.

this is basically any public school in the world tbh

leviathans-in-the-tardis:

me-myself-and-will:

carrot0nesie:

ladies and gentlemen, the american education system

My school apparently ran out of toilet paper a few weeks ago and my Spanish teacher was telling the girls to keep a roll in their purses and the guys to keep a roll in our backpacks. North American Education system.

this is basically any public school in the world tbh

one-hella-fine-viking:

loldork:

Depressing thought: in a 100 years almost everyone that’s alive now will be dead and the world will be inhabited by 10 billion or so completely new people.

not so depressing thought: maybe these new people will be less bigoted, sexist and racist.

citizenkwam:

Truth bomb.

citizenkwam:

Truth bomb.

I constantly tell myself ‘I’m done’ but then I find myself trying again.
— (via disorder)

stay-weird-af:

Whoever I date next better be ready to be treated like absolute gold. I have so much love that I’ve been waiting to give its ridiculous

communistbakery:

this girl is a national hero

communistbakery:

this girl is a national hero

parliamentarians:

Racism and ignorance clearly evident in our society, as experienced by my friend’s sister. This is what her potential dorm roommate, whom she had never met or talked to before, tweeted about her.
"Today I googled my last name and found this as one of the search results. Apparently, just by looking at my profile picture, I am Indian and I can barely speak english. This, my friends, is a prime example of racial profiling. I am an American citizen. I was born in Houston, Texas. My roots are not from India but from Africa. My parents are Algerian. I am Algerian American. English is my primary language and it is a struggle for me to speak my parent’s native tongue. My name is pronounced exactly as it is spelled. I wear a hijab (a head covering), and not a niqab ( a facial covering that excludes the eyes) though I do admire, respect, and find the beauty in all those who do choose to wear the niqab. But this girl is right, I probably would have had a heart attack living with a person who could not, and refused to, respect me and my beliefs. I can only thank God for an opening of a single room shortly after they assigned this roommate, way before I knew she had posted any of this. Alhamdullilah. I also thank God for being born in Houston, one of the most multicultural cities in the United States, and not experiencing racism like this everyday of my life. Sunday is my move in day and the start of my college career. This can be nothing but a good sign for the years to come, inshaAllah.  In conclusion, I urge everyone, please, don’t judge a person by their appearances. Racism exists in this nation because we continue to do so. We have to look beyond the covers of appearances and read the texts of their characters. Stand with me and ‪#‎stopracism‬.” -Roukaya Mabizari

parliamentarians:

Racism and ignorance clearly evident in our society, as experienced by my friend’s sister. This is what her potential dorm roommate, whom she had never met or talked to before, tweeted about her.

"Today I googled my last name and found this as one of the search results. Apparently, just by looking at my profile picture, I am Indian and I can barely speak english. This, my friends, is a prime example of racial profiling. I am an American citizen. I was born in Houston, Texas. My roots are not from India but from Africa. My parents are Algerian. I am Algerian American. English is my primary language and it is a struggle for me to speak my parent’s native tongue. My name is pronounced exactly as it is spelled. I wear a hijab (a head covering), and not a niqab ( a facial covering that excludes the eyes) though I do admire, respect, and find the beauty in all those who do choose to wear the niqab. But this girl is right, I probably would have had a heart attack living with a person who could not, and refused to, respect me and my beliefs. I can only thank God for an opening of a single room shortly after they assigned this roommate, way before I knew she had posted any of this. Alhamdullilah. I also thank God for being born in Houston, one of the most multicultural cities in the United States, and not experiencing racism like this everyday of my life.
Sunday is my move in day and the start of my college career. This can be nothing but a good sign for the years to come, inshaAllah.
In conclusion, I urge everyone, please, don’t judge a person by their appearances. Racism exists in this nation because we continue to do so. We have to look beyond the covers of appearances and read the texts of their characters. Stand with me and ‪#‎stopracism‬.”
-Roukaya Mabizari

carbonite:

what if someone is secretly in love with me but it’s so secret that he doesn’t even know?

Life is so hard when your best friend is a 9.5/10 and you’re a strong 4 with the right filter and lighting

cactusbot:

"Sit next to the boy you think is the cutest."

Donnie Darko (2001)

#darko